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Post by Dr Fogg on Aug 10, 2009 16:16:09 GMT -5
Rapid Fire.
The sergeant told us lay down suppressing fire,
but just who we are suppressing is not clear.
All I see is women, old men and children,
so I suppress them year on year.
We fire into a curtain of dust,
my M16 is glowing with heat.
Rapid fire, don’t think, just fire,
raking bullets across the street.
Through the mayhem,
I hear them scream and weep.
Women, old men and children,
the ones who’s peace we keep. Dr Fogg Copyright ©2009. HW Harborne |
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Post by Harklight on Aug 10, 2009 20:44:54 GMT -5
Another chilling read for me this morning, foggy. It's just not right! Why would anyone suppress people who live in peace, causing no troubles? Though I know, from some conflicts, the most innocent-looking can be most deadly, some people really are innocent.
I suggest changing "Between silences": perhaps "gun bursts" would fit. With gunfire and the screaming injured, I doubt there would be any silences. The simple acceptance of orders shown here, as is so drilled into military, makes this piece even more frightening and inhuman. A short but very shocking write. Bravo! H x
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Post by Dr Fogg on Aug 11, 2009 4:32:25 GMT -5
You are of course quite right "Between silences" didn't fit and was contradictory. I have modified it to "Through the mayhem". Thanks for that and your most generous comments.
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Post by apocalypticjay on Aug 16, 2009 5:05:06 GMT -5
This reminded me deeply of the film Soldier Blue, where the soldiers are ordered to kill men women and children without have any disgregard for humanity, metaphorically it could also be effects of the recession hiting hardest on those og age and youth. I really liked this write Doc it was very deep and inspiring!
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Post by Dr Fogg on Aug 16, 2009 16:18:15 GMT -5
Yes this could apply to any war i suppose, I had intended it to describe events in Iraq where over A MILLION Iraqies have died, I quess they are in peace in a way but not the way it was intended. Thanks for the generous comments.
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Post by Max on Aug 26, 2009 13:37:37 GMT -5
This reminds me most of Vietnam... such a pointless and unnecessarily long and brutal war. However, I have heard similar stories coming out of Iraq. I mean not to bash the entire military, for they do good as well as bad (just like any entity with guns and power does), but some of the things you hear about being done in the name of "following orders" are just horrendous. A solid critique of terrible circumstances, Doc.
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