Teddy Bear

[carousal]

Teddy Bear


I was paper wrapped and ribbon tied
Trembling tummy fears inside
Who would hug me, who would care?
I have so much love to share
~
Tearing paper, anxious fingers
Oh, how sweet the memory lingers
Cornflower eyes and golden tresses
Warming cuddles, soft caresses
~
Ruby lamplight, candle glow
That Christmastide so long ago
Tinselled tree with garlands hung
Those happy days when I was young
~
Through the rolling tolling years
Children’s laughter, children’s tears
My legs were bent my coat was tore
Nobody wanted me anymore
~
Now here I lie with the bric-a-brac
Faded dolls and plastic tat
Sorrow clouds my soft brown eyes
They'e made of glass and refuse to cry

[Jamie~poetshare.forumotion.com]

Wow, Cari, i've never read a poem from the perspective of the Teddy Bear, or any toy, before. Childlike in its innocence, too, for a child would perceive the Teddy bear as being lonely, having feelings, and generally relating to it. *exalt* very creative! (PS use "they're" in the next to last line)

[stacy (FINALLY back!)]

This reminds me of my poem, "The Old Burlap Bunny" I loved the nostalgic feel in this. Brilliantly penned and thoroughly enjoyed Cari.

[Artemis]

Cari this melted my heart. Such beautiful imagery and memories this lovely but sad old bear has. Gosh you have a beautiful and creative mind. I hope you have had some of your poetry published, such talent. K xx

[polonius]

This is so much the ending that makes Winnie the Pooh's story into a tragedy. Wonderful empathy.

EXALT

[ARTHUR KELLY]

Splendid write and heart=rendering story told with well written rhyming couplets.

I know these boards are not for serious critique, more for appreciation and compliment but you have always been so honest with me (and rightly so) so feel you will accept my opinion, if not agree with it.

The last line would be stronger if it simply read "...made of glass and refuse to cry..." it would keep with the beautiful rhythm you have skillfully created in the previous lines

ps "azure" will go as soon as I find a better colour

[Dr Fogg]

Its absolutely brilliant Cari, and I would go one further than arthur and change the last two lines to one even shorter.............Made of glass they can not cry. I can see this with suitable illustrations in a collection of childrens poems.