Self-induced haze to escape the pain Of falling into the same thorn laden roses as before Tips stained from my previous trips Down memory lane Drunken stupor, save me God For even in this illusion I gain no peace Nonexistent strobe forces me to focus On the hell I build for myself Solitude only offers an excuse to scream A cry for aid and a warning Forced vampirism as my world turns from the sun Falling from grace only to have the very ground Jerked out from under my scar ridden body Gazing upon my tear streaked face From some other plane The face I fail to recognize For cast in stone is the stare Liquid salvation drained as its vessel falls To the floor, shattered, like the fragments of my sanity With their mocking sparkle Gathering up the pieces, ignoring the sting As the shards pierce my skin I cannot take your hand; Unworthy am I to blemish your soul With the blood I wear Blessed numbness as the earth ceases it's chaotic whirling Embraced by sleep; for once peaceful Woken by the denial pounding in my skull. Clouds seem to mimic my heart and mind's peril Gathering false courage to paint on a smile Just so they can call me crazy.
"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you it's yours forever. If it doesn't then it was never meant to be."
This is extremely well written though worrying to the reader. To me it seems that the recesses of the mind and what lie there are emerging into the daylight. The effect is brutal coupled with a sense of unworthiness which is disturbing in one so young. I feel your pain Sarah.