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Post by carousal on Sept 29, 2009 11:34:55 GMT -5
The Acme Clone Co.
Papers please for a Parent Warder Thank you, yes, their quite in order You’re authorised to provide a home For a model 20 Type B clone
In this coloured brochure you may choose From our extensive range of hygienic stews Made with selected strands of D and A Delivered free, just a week today
You may consider, it may suffice Faulty goods at a knock down price Note the absent eyes, it cannot see But buy one now and get one free
On our macho model, you may rest assured The problem’s fixed, the fault is cured We’ve eliminated his disgusting trait To nail his bits on your garden gate
Our frisky girl, she’s a lively soul Crafted from a Barbie Doll Or the brainy one, we call her Nancy If a high IQ is what you fancy
The athlete is a sure fire winner But you want an opera singer Sorry madam you’re out of luck Most will sing like Donald Duck
Oh I see you have picked that blond female A very wise choice, thank you for the sale And now you’re late, you must get away Well, thank you again. Have a nice day
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Post by NewMan™ on Sept 29, 2009 20:50:46 GMT -5
Dear Acme Clone Co Representive..
how do you replace the batteries in your Type C clone? I tried looking everywhere (and I do mean everywhere) but I can't seem to find the little digety thing you press that makes the battery compartment open. I would ask the clone but for some reason, she's not talking to me.. (maybe it's the battery?)
ooh, also I was wondering if you have a poet clone? I would love to have him modeled on this guy I know named Carousal who writes these witty, clever and rhyming poems that always makes me wish I was talented enough to join him.
sincerely.
joe b. customer
ps - Cari, you beat me too it. I have been trying for a month now to figure out a way to write a poem with the word "Acme" in the title and you did it.. They are my favorite company (thanks to the Roadrunner cartoons and poor Wiley E Coyote being their number one customer) and this poem is both funny, and fitting for the era we live in where sheep named Dolly can look in a broken mirror with no glass and still see themselves..
also, and this has nothing to do with your poem.. I enjoyed reading your article in Poetize.
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Post by Dr Fogg on Oct 4, 2009 17:09:16 GMT -5
Dear Acme, I am very interested in your range of clones, however I wonder if you do a Magaret Thacher version? I could chase that little minx round the garden all day.
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Post by apocalypticjay on Oct 5, 2009 12:48:49 GMT -5
I have to agree with D here, witty, clever and brilliant writes that capture the readers imagination, amuse the reader and keeps them glues for the puchline, great write again!
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Post by carousal on Oct 14, 2009 10:21:33 GMT -5
Dear Acme, I am very interested in your range of clones, however I wonder if you do a Magaret Thacher version? I could chase that little minx round the garden all day. The Acme Clone Company 54, Goldhawk Rd; London
Dear Sir,
We are in receipt of your letter requesting a Margaret Thatcher clone; unfortunately this model has been recalled from existing customers and is no longer available. There were two faults with the product that our technical staff were unable to remedy, namely the model incessant arguing with their owners and subjecting them with a severe handbagging induced by them on uttering certain key words such as Michael Howard, Tony Blair, and most distressfully of all Geoffrey Howe.
However you may be interested in our Queen Mum clone as she is not very sprightly and considering your age rather easier to catch. She will of course demand the observance to the strict protocol conversant to her station. So when you have your evil way be sure to say ‘Wham Bam and Thank you MAM.
I remain Yours faithfully, W.D Forty, M.D, V.D and bar.
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