|
I AM
Jul 14, 2009 21:36:39 GMT -5
Post by ~ducky~*a new door is opened* on Jul 14, 2009 21:36:39 GMT -5
- i wasn't sure i should put this i am the one you look for, i could be one color, i could be more. i am the one that everyone grows up to love, i am the one that is always floating above. i'll always listen to what you have to say, any time, night, or day. and you never have to be scared, because as long as you want me, i'll always be there. i'll always love and i'll never leave you, no matter what you have to go through. because you didn't just choose me, i chose you too. you may go through hard times, but i'll always be there, help keeping you afloat. even if you are unaware. i am yours and always will be, because i am your rubber ducky.
|
|
|
I AM
Jul 15, 2009 0:56:11 GMT -5
Post by polonius on Jul 15, 2009 0:56:11 GMT -5
A spelndid series of generous promises, with a great deal of clarity as to who is speaking. However, the poem might benefit from capital letters; you have done reasonably well with the punctuation, Jessica. Not quite up to exalt standard.
|
|
matw63
Junior Member
Posts: 54
|
I AM
Jul 16, 2009 2:23:40 GMT -5
Post by matw63 on Jul 16, 2009 2:23:40 GMT -5
Ducky - this should be the basis upon which all healthy, loving relationships are based. Well written and expressed Mat
|
|
~Count Infernus~
Experienced Member
NMI on TPS~The Lord of Darkness[Mo0:42]
Posts: 311
|
I AM
Jul 16, 2009 14:24:37 GMT -5
Post by ~Count Infernus~ on Jul 16, 2009 14:24:37 GMT -5
I enjoyed this as well!! this was incredible and probably one of my favorites from you.. the feelings were well expressed and it is great that you kept everything.. ultimately hidden from the reader until the end.. I also liked how you used the "floating" concept.. great addition.. well written and exalted..
|
|
|
I AM
Jul 28, 2009 21:02:50 GMT -5
Post by Jamie~poetshare.forumotion.com on Jul 28, 2009 21:02:50 GMT -5
Aw, I love the ending to this. I was expecting some deep and meaningful, loving relationship, and it was that, but so much more innocent than I thought! What a lovely write! I think you put it in the right place, though I'd be tempted to put it in the Children's Poetry board.
|
|