Stars in Daytime (Terza Rima)

[Jamie~poetshare.forumotion.com]

We bared our chests to walk along the beach
Content in warming sunshine on the shore
Two lovers with the future in our reach.

We noted gasps from strangers who'd abhor
A love like ours, forbidden in their eyes;
Yet ambled on, to love and beach explore.

I basked in you, my undeserved prize,
Your handsomeness always in high demand,
An innocence with wit your face belies

We gathered stares like seashells in the sand
Oblivious to others as we talked
A tingle every time you touched my hand

The crashing waves as background while we walked
The salt and sand which we would both adorn
An openness where before I had balked--

In sunshine on the beach a love was born
More precious than the rarest type of shell
We passed with gentle footsteps on that morn

You sparkled in the sun and cast a spell
That day when on the beach love's seeds were sown
A simple thing that only time would tell . . .

For from that day our love has only grown.
For with that timid kiss, the first of ours--
For when you pressed your lips against my own

The sun went down and I saw only stars.

[Harklight]

Not only a beautiful love poem, Jamie, but also ideally fitting Terza Rima form!! Almost every tercet contains a gem phrase: one that helps to make the piece shine. The last tercet could be re-phrased to replace two of the three "For's" - but, by the time I read that part, I was swept away in this tender devotion. An absolute treasure of a write. Kudos and Exalt! H x

[Artemis]

Jamie this was so filled with love and so much adoration. I love this style and you managed to write it with no restrictions showing ... effortlessly. Exalt and well deserved, I would like to see this one in the weekly poem again .... is that allowed? I know you're in it this week Beautiful, Kerry xx

[apocalypticjay]

For when you pressed your lips against my own

The sun went down and I saw only stars.

Absolutely gorgeous my friend, breath tankingly so. I only long for such love from another. Your wording and form are crafted beautifully to express the wells of your soul perfectly here. A brilliant piece of writing from and outstanding poet and friend. Exalt

[Sir Lancelot]

I know how hard this form can be, but you made it look as if you wrote it freely without thought, as if you were talented toward writing dantes beloved form.

Caressing the vivid imagery, i feel warmth within the piece, closed eyes warmth.

RedStone